Introducing Myself

Hello and welcome to my page.  I wanted to tell you a few things about Crazy Old Woman so you would know who you are dealing with – what makes me crazy 🙂

We all have things that have happened to us that had an influence in our lives.  It’s how you deal with those influences that makes us the personalities we are.

Okay here goes.  Oh by the way, if you are very easily offended, you might not like my page.  I do not get graphic about anything here.  But sometimes I will write about things that just might offend someone.

My mom and father divorced when I was three years old.  1960.  I had a younger brother who was 1-1/2 years old at the time, my baby sister was 9 months.  You do the math.  I guess us kids made them crazy.  Or it could be because I had colic for the first three months of my life and cried constantly when I wasn’t asleep.  That would probably make me a little upset too.

My earliest memory is of hollering and arguing parents.  The next thing I remember is us kids and mom living with her parents.  Father moved on.  No phone calls, no birthday cards – nothing. But we got used to it.  We kids went to visit father’s parents occasionally.  I guess maybe they gave him news of our happenings by phone.  Things went OK for a while until “The Incident”.  I will not go into detail except to say that my paternal grandfather was a dirty old man and when I finally got up the nerve to tell my maternal grandfather what had happened, it’s a wonder there wasn’t a killing.  Now this wasn’t a full blown “incident”.  But to a young girl it was enough.  Of course visits with them promptly stopped.

Things settled down somehwat after that.  It was Nana,  Papa, Mom and us kids.  My mother really did hate her mother, but adored Papa.  But all three of fought like cats and dogs all the time.  Sometimes on the weekends, the arguing would be so bad they would get physical and throw kitchen chairs at each other and be yelling at us kids to “go outside !!!!”.  Nice.  We would go outside and go down the street or wherever just to get away from it.  I am sure we were very entertaining to the neighbors and fodder for lots of gossip.

One time I can remember coming home from school and Momma and Nana were fighting in the front yard!  It was a she-cat fight too.  They yelled at us to go somewhere.  The next week Nana is in bed with a traction thing.  She must have gone to the hospital or doctor somewhere to get that contraption.  Maybe she got it from a friend whose daughter like to beat up on her too…who knows.

And then later, after Momma was at work and Nana was taking care of us, she would say “Your momma stays out too late and is seeing men she shouldn’t.”

And then a few years later Papa gathered us kids around and told us that Momma was marrying a man who had been in jail at one time for indencent exposure.  He told us that if anything “ever happened” after they got married to tell him and he would take care of it.  I don’t think Papa knew the man was a terrible alcoholic too.  Or maybe he became that way after he married my momma.  She had that effect on people.

Well they got married and we moved to the country, which was very nice.  We had a dog, a big garden and some chickens.  The honeymoom didn’t last too long.  Soon it was hollering and arguing all over again, just two different players now.  Momma and stepfather.  Mainly over his drinking.  We had a nice dining room table that was 6 foot long, 3 foot wide and solid oak.  Stepfather sat at one end and Momma sat at the other.  One night they were arguing and the next thing I know, a quart Mason jar full of ice tea, came whizzing by in front of me.  It hit the far wall, shattering tea and glass everywhere.  Us kids went somewhere.  If Momma was aiming at his head, she wouldn’t have made it as a baseball player.  I think it was a warning.

Well Papa died of a heart attack leaving Nana alone in a house in the city.  Nana never drove a car.  I don’t think they could afford two cars.  Maybe Papa was afraid if Nana had a car, she would load her stuff up and go live with kinfolk in Arkansas.

Our next door neighbor couple in the country wanted to be closer to his job, so a deal was made.  They traded properties and Nana was our new neighbor.

Nana crocheted and sewed a lot.  She was also an excellent cook.  Everything I know about cooking, she taught me.  Every afternoon when us kids got off the school bus, she had a treat made.  This helped us “new kids” be popular for a while because she made enough for them too.

Momma and Nana still argued a lot but because they didn’t have to live under the same roof, it wasn’t as bad.  Nana never had to get traction again.

Momma worked in town and since I was the oldest, I had to cook and clean a LOT.  I never got an allowance or even allowed to go anywhere with friends very much.  I think she didn’t want me to be as wild as she was.  It didn’t work.  The more she made me do, the more I rebelled.  Finally when I was 17, I had been dating a 17 year old boy.  His family wasn’t that great either.  We decided to get married.

Holy Mother of Pearl, Momma went beserk.  The more she screamed and threatened me, the more determined I was to get out of that house, one way or the other.

One weekend my boyfriend’s family went to stay at the lake in a cabin.  Not really far away, just an “out-of-the-house” thing.  That is called a “stay-cation” nowadays.  I was allowed to go !!  I had a blast swimming, boating and fishing.

One month later they decided to go again.  Momma said I couldn’t go this time.  I asked “why not?”.  She said “because I said so.”  The rebellion took a different turn.  I wouldn’t back down and cower out like I had in the past.  The gaunlet had been thrown down.  A terrible fight broke out.  After it was over, I moved in with Nana.  When Nana was helping me get my clothes, Momma told Nana some awful, horrible, terrible things that I supposedly had done. She told my grandmother that I was a slut and that I had been having sex with boyfriend.  She was wrong about the slut thing, I had only ever “been”  and the only one, so I was not a slut.  I was hysterically crying .  Nana  very calmly said “You dated every married man in town and married an alcoholic ex-con.  What else is new?”  Way to go, Nana !

This is the end of chapter one.

I hope I have managed to inject some humor here.  I am not bitter or a “survivor”.  These are the things that have made me a strong person.  I will continue later.  Thanks for stopping by.

More About Trust and Respect Issues

Today I will talk some about Trust and Respect and whatever else comes to mind.  I told you I ramble, please forgive me.

It takes a while to establish a trust system with your co-workers.  They have to get to know you and vice versa.  There will be people who you just automatically “click” with, and those you don’t.  Don’t  let your personal feelings get in the way of doing your job.  In other words, just because your foreman yelled at you last week and you are still mad about it, just do what you are supposed to do in the meantime.  And this is very important……do not under any circumstances talk bad about your foreman to any of the other people you work with, even if they do. Most of the people you work with have been on the job a long time and even though it’s just not right to be talking about the boss, THEY have “earned” the right to do so.  You haven’t…..yet.  If you want to be like them.
And you can take this piece of information to the bank or write it on the wall, one of those people who heard you talk about the boss WILL tell him. Yeah, I know it sucks, but that’s just the way it is cause that will put a little feather in that person’s imaginary hat (or they think it will anyway).  I promise you that one day when you have proven yourself to be competent and the boss yells at you again, you will have every right to get in his face.  But you don’t have to go and blab it to everyone unless you are like those people too and enjoy putting a feather in your imaginary hat.  By keeping your mouth shut and being professional, people are going to respect you much more.  If your boss yells at you just because he is having a bad day, calmly ask him if you could have a few moments to sit down and talk about what it is exactly that you did wrong to make him get so mad.  He probably won’t be able to come up with anything in particular and might even admit that he is having a bad day.  You win.

It would be an excellent idea to ask him exactly how he expects you to do a particular task.  Ask for additional training if need be.  If you show a willingness to learn, most people will be glad to help.  And you know why?  They don’t want you to potentially damage a piece of equipment or turn the wrong valve and shut the whole unit down.  That calls for a lot of work & old-timers want to sit around with their feet propped up on the desk, taking it easy and talking bad about whoever is not at work today.  AND they don’t want you to get hurt.  OMG if you get hurt or hurt someone else with something you did wrong, there will be more Mercedes and BMWs in the parking lot than you can shake a stick at.  What this means is, all the bigboys and girls from CORPORATE are going to descend upon your workplace and they will not be happy.  There will be reports and investigations and meetings.  One or more of your co-workerss is going to be in deep doo-doo because they weren’t with you helping when you hurt yourself.  Never ever tell someone “I got this” when you really don’t.  They trusted you enough to (or just wanted to stay in the control room with feet propped up on desk) believe that you actually “had it”.  Now you really do “have it” – you got hurt, people got in trouble and they could lose their job over it.  You will also have an accident report in your file.  You will have everyone watching your every little move to make sure you don’t something else wrong.  When someone gets hurt, it is just bad news all the way around.
Also, the company’s image takes a hit with the public.  Your boss takes a hit.  Never do something you are not absolutely sure about.  Just say “hey would you mind helping me with this and just watch to make sure I do it right”.  And don’t get offended if they act like it is just killing them and they say with much laziness ” I…guess…so”.  Just be polite, smile and don’t let them touch a thing.  If they act like they are going to help say “Please let ME do it so I can learn.  You just stand there and watch”.  That way they will know that you are trying and want to be able to do it alone.  Plus, even though you have dragged them out of the comfort of a cushy chair in the control room, they won’t feel quite so bad about you.  Smile a LOT it really does help.  Even if they don’t smile back (the bastards).

You can actually have fun with people like this.  More on that later.  I know you can’t wait.