What You Don’t Know….Won’t Hurt You

Warning:  Mild cursing in this post.  Not anything out of the ordinary. I would let you know if the F word was in here and it is not, although it could be substituted for a few words and make it funnier.

I love black beans.  My daughter loves them too.  But my husband and her husband hates them.  I personally think it is because the beans do not look appetizing at all because they are solid black, like tiny hunks of charcoal or tiny pieces you see laying in the road from a blown out tire.  I have to agree.  BUT….they have a wonderful taste.  So husband and son-in-law really should try them, but they won’t.

A week ago, I cooked myself a pot of black beans.  Husband was not working that day and everytime he walked into the kitchen, he would look disgustingly at my pot of black beans and proclaim “I don’t see how you eat that stuff!”  I tried to assure him that they were indeed tasty and if he would just take a small bite after they were done, he would change his mind.  I would not be fibbing if I said that it would be one of the very last things that he would eat if he were truly starving of hunger.

I was so proud of my black beans.  I put some in a Rubbermaid container to take to work  to have as lunch.  I also took a small amount of shredded cheese to melt on top when I nuked them.  Also included was some Pace Picante sauce.  I felt kinda mexicano that day.  Oh and some garlic powder….can’t forget that!!   I called my daughter to tell her that I had cooked some black beans and we talked for a few minutes about how good they were and how stupid our husbands are for not liking them or even trying to taste them.

Lunch time rolled around and I was h-u-n-g-r-y.  I nuked the beans with the cheese on top.  Oh my, they sure looked good.  I put the Pace on the side.  I sat down in the control room and was chowing down like Porky Pig.  Yum, yum, yessir they were good.  My supervisor came in the door and was walking past me. He stopped and looked down at my plate and said “What is that stuff?”  I told him it was black beans and they are good.  He said anything that looked like tar could not be good. I told him to leave me alone so I could eat.  A few minutes later, my co-worker came in the same door and was walking by on his way to the kitchen.  He also stopped and said “WHAT is THAT???”  I told him it was black beans and they are good.  He said anything that is as black as his cell phone could not be good.  Humph!  Would ya’ll just leave me ALONE??????

They drink coffee don’t they?  I guess it is different somehow.

But I am going to get them all back with a little trick up my sleeve.  Have you heard of the recipe for black bean brownies?  It is a low-carb recipe and it is very healthy also.  No flour.  Yessiree I am going to buy 2 cans of black beans and hide them  in the pantry.  One day when husband is at work and I am home, I am going to make this recipe.   One for husband and one for work.  My husband is diabetic and anything that is called a brownie and has a little bit of sweet taste to it, he will love.  Poor guy, he has a bad time with that diabetes stuff and I will put stevia in the recipe for him.  I have only brought a cooked goodie from home to work one time.  It was St. Patricks Day.  I made a decadent chocolate cake with white icing that I had colored green with food coloring.  The guys at work wanted to know what I did to make the icing that green color.  I mean seriously…..do you think I would try to poison you or something?  Dammit it is St. Patricks Day for heavens sake!  So much jollyness at work. I vowed never again to spend my time cooking them a damm thing.  But I will make an exception for the black bean brownies.

It will be my pleasure to serve black bean brownies and not say a word to husband or co-workers.  I will wait until the next day before I tell my husband the truth.  Hey Honey, you know those black beans that you said were nasty/horrible/gross?  Well guess what?  You ate them yesterday in those delicious brownies.  He will be a little mad at me but he will get over it when he remembers how good they were.  And when I tell him that they are very healthy for people with diabetes he won’t hate me anymore.

But the thing that I am REALLY looking forward to is… when I wait a few days to tell those two guys at work.  I can see it now in my mind.  We get to work and we are drinking coffee talking about the work that needs to be done on our shift.  Then my overly fastidious supervisor will announce that he had to make an appointment with a GI doctor.  The other guy will say with much interest..”Yeah..what for?”   My supervisor will say that he pooped solid black and he thought death would soon be upon his door….the dreaded colon cancer.  He screamed at his wife “Honey….get in here RIGHT now and look at this black shit!!!!!  I am going to die!!    The other co-worker will say “Damm!!! The same thing happened to me!!  About the black shit I mean…not that I screamed at my wife like a wimp…”   At that time I will fall out of  my chair laughing and say “You guys are killing me here!!!!   You are not going to die.  You just ate some black beans in the brownies!!!!!

They will never eat another thing that I bring to work.  That’s okay too.  But the funny thing is….they will forever more be..just..a..little..afraid..of..me.  And when I show up to work again with black beans…all I can say is they better not say a word.



Introducing Myself

Hello and welcome to my page.  I wanted to tell you a few things about Crazy Old Woman so you would know who you are dealing with – what makes me crazy 🙂

We all have things that have happened to us that had an influence in our lives.  It’s how you deal with those influences that makes us the personalities we are.

Okay here goes.  Oh by the way, if you are very easily offended, you might not like my page.  I do not get graphic about anything here.  But sometimes I will write about things that just might offend someone.

My mom and father divorced when I was three years old.  1960.  I had a younger brother who was 1-1/2 years old at the time, my baby sister was 9 months.  You do the math.  I guess us kids made them crazy.  Or it could be because I had colic for the first three months of my life and cried constantly when I wasn’t asleep.  That would probably make me a little upset too.

My earliest memory is of hollering and arguing parents.  The next thing I remember is us kids and mom living with her parents.  Father moved on.  No phone calls, no birthday cards – nothing. But we got used to it.  We kids went to visit father’s parents occasionally.  I guess maybe they gave him news of our happenings by phone.  Things went OK for a while until “The Incident”.  I will not go into detail except to say that my paternal grandfather was a dirty old man and when I finally got up the nerve to tell my maternal grandfather what had happened, it’s a wonder there wasn’t a killing.  Now this wasn’t a full blown “incident”.  But to a young girl it was enough.  Of course visits with them promptly stopped.

Things settled down somehwat after that.  It was Nana,  Papa, Mom and us kids.  My mother really did hate her mother, but adored Papa.  But all three of fought like cats and dogs all the time.  Sometimes on the weekends, the arguing would be so bad they would get physical and throw kitchen chairs at each other and be yelling at us kids to “go outside !!!!”.  Nice.  We would go outside and go down the street or wherever just to get away from it.  I am sure we were very entertaining to the neighbors and fodder for lots of gossip.

One time I can remember coming home from school and Momma and Nana were fighting in the front yard!  It was a she-cat fight too.  They yelled at us to go somewhere.  The next week Nana is in bed with a traction thing.  She must have gone to the hospital or doctor somewhere to get that contraption.  Maybe she got it from a friend whose daughter like to beat up on her too…who knows.

And then later, after Momma was at work and Nana was taking care of us, she would say “Your momma stays out too late and is seeing men she shouldn’t.”

And then a few years later Papa gathered us kids around and told us that Momma was marrying a man who had been in jail at one time for indencent exposure.  He told us that if anything “ever happened” after they got married to tell him and he would take care of it.  I don’t think Papa knew the man was a terrible alcoholic too.  Or maybe he became that way after he married my momma.  She had that effect on people.

Well they got married and we moved to the country, which was very nice.  We had a dog, a big garden and some chickens.  The honeymoom didn’t last too long.  Soon it was hollering and arguing all over again, just two different players now.  Momma and stepfather.  Mainly over his drinking.  We had a nice dining room table that was 6 foot long, 3 foot wide and solid oak.  Stepfather sat at one end and Momma sat at the other.  One night they were arguing and the next thing I know, a quart Mason jar full of ice tea, came whizzing by in front of me.  It hit the far wall, shattering tea and glass everywhere.  Us kids went somewhere.  If Momma was aiming at his head, she wouldn’t have made it as a baseball player.  I think it was a warning.

Well Papa died of a heart attack leaving Nana alone in a house in the city.  Nana never drove a car.  I don’t think they could afford two cars.  Maybe Papa was afraid if Nana had a car, she would load her stuff up and go live with kinfolk in Arkansas.

Our next door neighbor couple in the country wanted to be closer to his job, so a deal was made.  They traded properties and Nana was our new neighbor.

Nana crocheted and sewed a lot.  She was also an excellent cook.  Everything I know about cooking, she taught me.  Every afternoon when us kids got off the school bus, she had a treat made.  This helped us “new kids” be popular for a while because she made enough for them too.

Momma and Nana still argued a lot but because they didn’t have to live under the same roof, it wasn’t as bad.  Nana never had to get traction again.

Momma worked in town and since I was the oldest, I had to cook and clean a LOT.  I never got an allowance or even allowed to go anywhere with friends very much.  I think she didn’t want me to be as wild as she was.  It didn’t work.  The more she made me do, the more I rebelled.  Finally when I was 17, I had been dating a 17 year old boy.  His family wasn’t that great either.  We decided to get married.

Holy Mother of Pearl, Momma went beserk.  The more she screamed and threatened me, the more determined I was to get out of that house, one way or the other.

One weekend my boyfriend’s family went to stay at the lake in a cabin.  Not really far away, just an “out-of-the-house” thing.  That is called a “stay-cation” nowadays.  I was allowed to go !!  I had a blast swimming, boating and fishing.

One month later they decided to go again.  Momma said I couldn’t go this time.  I asked “why not?”.  She said “because I said so.”  The rebellion took a different turn.  I wouldn’t back down and cower out like I had in the past.  The gaunlet had been thrown down.  A terrible fight broke out.  After it was over, I moved in with Nana.  When Nana was helping me get my clothes, Momma told Nana some awful, horrible, terrible things that I supposedly had done. She told my grandmother that I was a slut and that I had been having sex with boyfriend.  She was wrong about the slut thing, I had only ever “been”  and the only one, so I was not a slut.  I was hysterically crying .  Nana  very calmly said “You dated every married man in town and married an alcoholic ex-con.  What else is new?”  Way to go, Nana !

This is the end of chapter one.

I hope I have managed to inject some humor here.  I am not bitter or a “survivor”.  These are the things that have made me a strong person.  I will continue later.  Thanks for stopping by.

More About Trust and Respect Issues

Today I will talk some about Trust and Respect and whatever else comes to mind.  I told you I ramble, please forgive me.

It takes a while to establish a trust system with your co-workers.  They have to get to know you and vice versa.  There will be people who you just automatically “click” with, and those you don’t.  Don’t  let your personal feelings get in the way of doing your job.  In other words, just because your foreman yelled at you last week and you are still mad about it, just do what you are supposed to do in the meantime.  And this is very important……do not under any circumstances talk bad about your foreman to any of the other people you work with, even if they do. Most of the people you work with have been on the job a long time and even though it’s just not right to be talking about the boss, THEY have “earned” the right to do so.  You haven’t…..yet.  If you want to be like them.
And you can take this piece of information to the bank or write it on the wall, one of those people who heard you talk about the boss WILL tell him. Yeah, I know it sucks, but that’s just the way it is cause that will put a little feather in that person’s imaginary hat (or they think it will anyway).  I promise you that one day when you have proven yourself to be competent and the boss yells at you again, you will have every right to get in his face.  But you don’t have to go and blab it to everyone unless you are like those people too and enjoy putting a feather in your imaginary hat.  By keeping your mouth shut and being professional, people are going to respect you much more.  If your boss yells at you just because he is having a bad day, calmly ask him if you could have a few moments to sit down and talk about what it is exactly that you did wrong to make him get so mad.  He probably won’t be able to come up with anything in particular and might even admit that he is having a bad day.  You win.

It would be an excellent idea to ask him exactly how he expects you to do a particular task.  Ask for additional training if need be.  If you show a willingness to learn, most people will be glad to help.  And you know why?  They don’t want you to potentially damage a piece of equipment or turn the wrong valve and shut the whole unit down.  That calls for a lot of work & old-timers want to sit around with their feet propped up on the desk, taking it easy and talking bad about whoever is not at work today.  AND they don’t want you to get hurt.  OMG if you get hurt or hurt someone else with something you did wrong, there will be more Mercedes and BMWs in the parking lot than you can shake a stick at.  What this means is, all the bigboys and girls from CORPORATE are going to descend upon your workplace and they will not be happy.  There will be reports and investigations and meetings.  One or more of your co-workerss is going to be in deep doo-doo because they weren’t with you helping when you hurt yourself.  Never ever tell someone “I got this” when you really don’t.  They trusted you enough to (or just wanted to stay in the control room with feet propped up on desk) believe that you actually “had it”.  Now you really do “have it” – you got hurt, people got in trouble and they could lose their job over it.  You will also have an accident report in your file.  You will have everyone watching your every little move to make sure you don’t something else wrong.  When someone gets hurt, it is just bad news all the way around.
Also, the company’s image takes a hit with the public.  Your boss takes a hit.  Never do something you are not absolutely sure about.  Just say “hey would you mind helping me with this and just watch to make sure I do it right”.  And don’t get offended if they act like it is just killing them and they say with much laziness ” I…guess…so”.  Just be polite, smile and don’t let them touch a thing.  If they act like they are going to help say “Please let ME do it so I can learn.  You just stand there and watch”.  That way they will know that you are trying and want to be able to do it alone.  Plus, even though you have dragged them out of the comfort of a cushy chair in the control room, they won’t feel quite so bad about you.  Smile a LOT it really does help.  Even if they don’t smile back (the bastards).

You can actually have fun with people like this.  More on that later.  I know you can’t wait.

10 Things for You to Know About A New Job

This post comes only from my personal experience.  I have been the “new” person a few times and I know what the old-timers want to see happen with a new employee.  There is a big difference between a new guy and a new woman.  You know it’s true.  You have to prove yourself, but you have to use some common sense and restraint in the beginning until they get to know you.

You should know this first and foremost.  I am NOT gifted with writing abilities.  I ramble and my thoughts get mumbled but you are getting what I wrote down and that’s that.  Take it with a grain of salt or leave it.  I know what I am talking about here.

1) Trust and Respect – this will take a while, but be patient.  It will happen if you are worthy of it.

2)Safety – don’t go in with a John Wayne attitude.  The last thing they need is for you to get hurt.

3)Hierarchy – there are people that have worked there pretty much all their life and they are not going to be taking no crap from you.  Know what your place is and in a few years or maybe sooner, you CAN tell them to go where the sun don’t shine.  Hierarchy also applies to parking spaces.  Try to find a spot where no one else parks…that IS their spot and they have earned it working for this God-forsaken place a lot longer than you.  Also, watch out for the women that work there.  They have worked with these guys a while and THEY, not YOU have earned their trust and respect.  Always defer to them, even if they are a witch.  You will get your turn if you earn it.

4) Energetic – even if you are over the hill like me, if something is going on that needs attention, get out of that chair and go with them to see what is happening.  You might not have any idea what is happening, but you are not going to learn unless you show an interest.  Even if you have worked somewhere else and you have seen the same thing happen a million times, GO with them.  You might be able to give a little insight and you will move up one notch higher on the respect scale with them.

5)Team Work – you are supposed to learn your job so that you will be able to do it correctly and without help.  But sometimes you ARE going to need help and there is no shame in asking.  It makes most people feel important that they are able to help someone who asks.  Always offer to help someone even if it is just to hold a tool or shine a flashlight.  It shows you care. 

6)Private Life – oh this one is very important.  It is okay to talk about the weather or mundane topics.  But please do not discuss your most private happenings with your co-workers.  This is a bad no-no.  I have personally witnessed people who divulged information such as a teenager being on drugs or going to jail and then the gossip train is in full motion.  It is a fact of life that people LOVE to gossip and the more you tell the more you will be talked about.  Sorry it has to be this way but it’s the truth.

7)Punctuality-be to work on time.  Try your very best to not be late.  Someone is waiting on you to get there so THEY can go home.  The more times you are late, the more times your name is not spoken in a good way. Even though your hours might be 6am to 6pm,  you really need to be there at least 15 minutes ahead of time so the person who has been working all night from 6pm to 6am can tell you what has happened during the  night.  They are sleepy, they want to go.

8)Use of free time – if you absolutely have to use the cell phone, go to the restroom and call from there.  At least until they realize that you your ear is  not permanently attached to the cell phone.  Some companies forbid cell phone use.  If this is the case, I feel bad for you…I do.  But I’m pretty sure they told you that during the job interview and you accepted the job for what it is…so just do it.

9)Attitude – Try to be cheerful but don’t go overboard.  Don’t gossip whatever you do, at least until you have been for a while. I always notice when everyone else is talking bad about someone and one certain person is not.  Gossiping does nothing but spread rumors that most of the time are not true.Even if it is true, know this, some people have nothing better to do than sit around and talk about someone else all day long.  It helps them to feel better because they think they are smarter than the person being talked about.  And oh yes, YOUR every little move is being scrutinized and they are talking about you.  So give them something good to talk about by doing your job right. Say Yes Ma’am and Yes Sir until they get tired of it and tell you not to, and most times it will not be too long.

10) Problem People – Oh this is a tough one. Sadly there ARE bullies in the work place just like when you were in grade school, high school, that witchy sister-in-law and I could go on and on.  The best I can tell you is, if it is happening to you it is going to be hard to ignore it, but at first it will be pretty much necessary.  It might be that this person’s personality and your personality have a clash.  And the best way I can think of to get around that is this…..and you won’t  like what I am going to say……defer to them, but only until you have been there a while.  Always be polite, ask them how they are doing today, try to find some common ground like hobbies to talk about, be be polite even if you can’t talk to them about anything.  If you are nice and they continually are bullies, other people will notice too.  They have been on the bad end of that deal before too.  But if it continues and you have done absolutely everything you can to be nice, then sadly some action needs to be taken.  If the bully happens to be your boss and your company has a “concerns hotline” you will have to call, for your own sake.  If the bully is a co-worker and your boss is just a pushover who can’t control the person, you will have to have a talk with management in a private meeting with HR present.  It is not going to go well.  You are going to feel bad that it had to come down to this and HR is going to be concerned that your boss couldn’t handle the bully in the first place.  At best, you might get assigned to a different shift or a different area.  But know this, if you are being bullied be sure to take notes every day with specific times, dates and what was happening at the time.  I personally have never had to do this, but I do know people who have.  And if it comes down to it, and a resolution can’t be found…..think about this.  No matter how much money you are making, do you really want to live out the rest of your working days being miserable every day that you have to come to work because of this bully?  It is time to move on and find something else somewhere else.  But the best advice I can give you is…..really try your best to get along with the bully or problem person.  More than likely it is  a verbal and mental abuse thing that is going on with the bully.  If you can somehow manage to not show any emotion and just do your job, the bully will move on to the next person they can find.  I have had to work with bullies in my lifetime and it is not fun at all.  But the funny thing is, people will say that person is not the same way at home.  Just at work.  So either the bully is getting bullied at home and then taking their frustrations out on people at work, or the person is really a sick and pathetic human being. 

This is the end of my first post.  I hope you enjoy it.  I know it not the standard, run of the mill post here at WordPress.  But I have pretty much poured out my heart and I try to tell it like it is.  Until later, take care.

Crazy Old Woman

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